Principles of coaching using NLP?
What you focus on is what you get
Always focus on what you want to achieve rather than what you don’t want to achieve. E.g. if you want to be on time for a meeting focus on this and not on not being late. You cannot not focus on something the brain doesn’t compute the word "not". Try not thinking of a big purple bus – what happens?
You have all the resources you need to be successful
You just have to access them at the appropriate times and places. The main difference between people are the choices that they make. We all have the resources to run the London marathon – some of us choose to make this a reality. You have all the resources to do your bosses job and your boss has all the resources to do your job, so why are you doing different jobs?
You are not your behaviour
We need to separate out who we (identity) are and what we are doing (behaviour). E.g. I am boring – no you are who you are and you are choosing to behave like you are boring – you are doing "boring". So if you are aware that you are choosing to be boring then you can change this choice if you want to. It is easier to change behaviours than it is your identity.
There is no failure only feedback
All through our lives we learn, and to continue learning we have to get feedback. If you choose to run one mile but you only make it to the half mile point, you did not fail – you learnt and you should take the feedback from this so that you can move forward towards your goal.
It is easier to change yourself than others
Throughout our lives through our personal and professional relationships we struggle to try and change other people and to get them to conform to what we expect. You can choose to continue this way or you can choose to change yourself – the latter is the easier route and the one with which you can gain the most.
If what you are doing isn’t working, do something different
If you always do what you have always done that you will always get what you’ve always got. If you have been trying to achieve something for a while you may have to change how you are doing this. E.g. a lady goes to the gym 3 times per week and she is not losing any weight, she continues doing the same programme and eating the same foods, she continually mentions to her friends that she goes to the gym lots more than other people she knows and can’t understand why nothing is changing.
If you believe you can or if you believe you cannot you’re probably right
Your inner beliefs display themselves through your body language, tone of voice and words that you choose. Believing that you cannot achieve something is not resourceful – how can this help you? If you go into a meeting believing the worst then it is more likely to happen. If you stand at the bottom of Mount Everest and think "I can’t do this" – how does this help you? You chances of success are limited by your thoughts and beliefs.